Dear Conor

Merry Christmas my baby. As we wrapped the gifts last night, all I could think about was how much fun you would have had this year, opening all the gifts and playing with family. I imagine, like Tessa tonight, that you would have wanted to stay up late and hang out with everyone. It's hard not to feel angry with God today for taking you from us. It just doesn't feel the same without you. Tessa wanted to read Elmo Christmas today for you. She never forgets you. You are in her every thought. She brings you up constantly throughout the day, wondering if you would like her art work, her cup, her outfit. . . anything. She's been sick the last few days and I think that has made her miss you more. The other day, after a particularly bad coughing spell, she said, "I miss my Conor. I want him." You were always such a source of comfort for her. I said, "I know baby, I miss him too, I want him too."

I miss your smile, your laugh, you talking, but most of all your hugs and kisses. Please give me strength. I love you so much my angel.

Love,

Mommy